The Latest.

It stopped raining! Of course, you wouldn't know that because I'm a horrible blogger and have left you out of the loop for the past few weeks. So I apologize. But the truth is that my schedule has become more routine, so me telling you about my days, with variations only in the breakfast menu and nightly TV schedule, could get quite monotonous. But I have gathered up a few stories that I thought you might enjoy.


The Rain.
It poured for three days straight. And now it's stopped. This actually disappoints me, since I really started to love the rain once I learned that it dropped the temperatures for three days straight and provided great excuses to do "TV work" (assignments given to me that are done best in front of the TV, such as cutting out thousands of felt pieces for Bible lessons). The only problem with the rain is that it causes flooding, so tons of fields and houses are now destroyed. But I'm going to be self-centered right now and say that I miss the rain because I hate the heat. Here in Thailand we have two seasons: the rainy season and the hot-as-hell season. They often mix, since after a short 20 minute rain the sun normally decides to make a grand appearance and scorch the land (and anyone who happens to be on the land). I don't mind hot, and I don't mind humid, but when you mix them together, they form a toxic potion that literally makes me and my soul melt into the ground. I hate heat and humidity when combined. Remember that when I wind up in a tropical, humid rain forest in the future.


Let's Make a Toast.
We've all seen those movies where the toaster pops the toasted bread five feet into the air and the perfect housewife in the checked apron catches the toast on a perfect plate and sets it down in front of her two patient children (a girl and a boy, no doubt), who then thank their mother sweetly and proceed to butter their fresh toast. Well, my toaster here does that, but I don't catch it. For a while I didn't even know it popped my toast all over the kitchen. You see, some days I eat one piece of toast and other days I eat two. So I didn't notice the disappearing pieces of toast that popped their way to track behind the microwave until I cleaned behind the microwave. And sure enough, I found 9 pieces of lonely toast being enjoyed by the insect critters that share my kitchen with me. I now eat oatmeal for breakfast.


Hmong.
We had a Hmong team come! Hmong is a type of village people from Northern Thailand and Laos who speak, you guessed it, Hmong. During the Vietnam War many Laos Hmong people helped the US and then couldn't go back home to Laos, so the US lovingly took them in and gave them new lives. They all live in communities in Kansas, Minnesota, and other states, and they speak Hmong! And English, of course. There's a Hmong church in Minnesota that sends a team to minister to the Hmong people in Thailand every year, so 17 Hmong teenagers invaded our compound last week, using my toilet paper and eating my bread and messing up my kitchen. Needless to say, we weren't the best of friends, but they did some good work and they're gone now. Life can go on :)


Tennis... in real life.
I've never played tennis in my life, nor have I considered playing tennis. But Jo, a PE teacher from an International School in Chiang Mai has been here for the past few weeks, and has pulled me into tennis. Let me say this: it is WAY harder in real life than it is on the Wii. I have no idea how people do it. Those stupid yellow balls fly all over our compound. I've also taken up watching tennis on ESPN, since the Wimbledon is currently going on (or it was yesterday). This also means that I watch a lot of Badminton tournaments, like the Thailand Open, which is also going on this week. Let me explain the difference between my sport and other sports: I run. This means someone tells me where to start, when to start, and I try to beat everyone else to wherever I'm told to stop. That's it. The same goes for biking and swimming, which I've started participating in for triathlons. But other sports, like tennis, badminton, basketball, baseball, football, and everything else involving a moving sphere, mess with my mind. Watching them is tolerable, and even enjoyable. But playing them confuses me, especially when the rulebooks are heavier than the latest edition of Webster's Dictionary. Objects flying back and forth in between specific boundaries and kept track of by crazy scoring methods don't exactly float my boat. So I'll keep running, and those hunky model-like guys can keep sweating it out on the tennis court. No problem.


P90X
I don't run when it's raining because there are no sidewalks or groomed trails around here. This means I run on the road, where cars drive. And, just like every other third world country, drivers are insane. So heavy rain + dark + insane drivers + Gabbie running on the road= something not good. So I've been borrowing Cheri's P90X DVDs to keep me in shape in the rain. Have you ever tried P90X? It hurt me more than skiing hurt my pride, and skiing was pretty brutal to my soul. I suppose I could tell you that if you wanted to get in shape, you should order P90X, but I'm not going to because it's abusive. End of story.


Weekend English.
We have an English class on Saturdays and Sundays for young adults, most of whom are Buddhist. And guess what? Last week some of them came to church! Obviously, a ton of teenagers who have never, ever been to church (not even for Easter or Christmas!), coming to church is a pretty amazing thing. We just have to pray that they keep coming.


So other than that, there's not tons of new exciting stuff going on. Except that in the time it's taken me to write this it's started raining again!  I am happy :) 
I'll let you know when something headline-worthy happens.

English, English, English...and a little bit of Thai.

First pick out the misspelled word. Then we'll play Guess Why Gabbie's Here.

Alright. So now that I've told you about Thailand, I'm going to tell you about what I actually do in Thailand: I teach English. It's that simple. Before I got here I thought I would be an assistant of some sort. Wrong. I am the teacher! But I don't have just one classroom or one class, so I'm going to tell you about all my classes and students. Here we go.
Sunday, 9:30 am: I teach English. Instead of Sunday School before church for the kids, they have an English class. It's a class that varies from 2-18 people, depending on whether the kids from the Chiang Klang dorm show up. We learn about clothes, weather, numbers, colors, opposites, body parts, and family members. Since these children have ages ranging from 4 to 14, we just play it by ear. Sometimes you repeat lessons, sometimes you skip them, sometimes you review them. It doesn't really matter whether a set curriculum is in place, simply because there's no structure to the attendance. So that's my loosey-goosey class.
Monday, 11 am: I teach at Bon Den! I used to teach at Bon Den on Tuesdays and Thursdays and at Soi Prow on Monday and Wednesday, but they integrated the schools last week, so now it's just one school. Soi Prow only had about 30 students to begin with, so couple that with no principal, extremely below-average kids, and poor facilities, and you get a sudden integration a month after school starts. That's how they do things here in Thailand.
So I teach at Bon Den during the week. On Mondays I teach second grade. Let me fill you in on what a typical one hour class is like:


11:00-11:10
Good morning, teacher. They do this funky introduction thing before class, where the students all stand up and chant "Good morning, teacher" like zombies. Then I tell them to sit down, and they thank me. Then we throw the formal stuff out the door and start English. Thai school is pure lecture and memorization, and we try to change that for English. For example,  I asked some kids once "What's your favorite color?" I asked them a dozen times with no response. When I wrote it on the board, I was immediately answered with either red, green, blue, or yellow. So that's where these kids are coming from. They have no experience in talking or listening to native English speakers. Most Thai English teachers are not fluent (or close to it) in English, either.
First task after the zombie chant: Genki Disco. They love it. I don't. Just listen to it and you'll see why hearing it three times at the beginning of every class will slowly make you rip your brains out with a toothpick. But that's okay. I can deal for a summer in exchange for their happiness in singing and dancing to Genki Disco. You can even listen to it here if you're interested!


11:10-11:20
Review from the previous lesson.


11:20-11:50
New material. The average human brain can hold about 10-15 new vocab words a day. It also takes about 40 times of saying a word or phrase for it to stick. So we do that. Example:
Weather: Sunny, Rainy, Snowy, Windy, Stormy, Hot, Cold, Beautiful, Cloudy.
Key Phrase: 
A: How's the weather?
B: It's _____ today.
A: Oh, how nice.
So we repeat the vocab about 10 times, preferably with some kind of hand motion.
1 and 2: Repeating after me in order.
3: In Thai.
4: Girls.
5: Boys.
6: Together, loud.
7: Together, quiet.
8: Together, out of order.
9: Without me, in order.
10: Without me, out of order. 


Then we learn the Key Phrase. Every language has a beat. English has a 4/4 time. So we clap and dance to the key phrase together, repeating after me. Example:
Gabbie: How's
Class: How's
G: The.
C: The.
G: Weather.
C: Weather.
Repeat five times.
Gabbie: How's the weather?
Class: How's the weather?
Repeat 5 times.
Gabbie: It's
Class: It's
Gabbie: Mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm.
Class: Mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm.
Gabbie: Today
Class: Today
Repeat about 5 times.
Gabbie: It's mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm today.
Class: It's mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm today.
Repeat 5 times or more. They love the mmmhmmmhmmmhmmms.
Gabbie: Oh, how nice! (With a super exaggerated OH!)
Class: OHHHH! How nice!
Repeat 5 times. They love the OHs too.
Then they stand up and ask 5 people the key phrase, filling in the blank with whatever vocab word they choose. We also have Genki songs for every lesson, so we'll sing the appropriate song a few times.


Now comes the fun part: we play games. Either Go Fish, Matching, Revolving pairs, and Gender competition.
Go Fish: Children split up into groups of four and get a deck of cards with vocab words on them. They have to ask  each other "Hey Pin, is it sunny today?" And if Pin has a sunny card, she says, "Yes, it is!" and hands over her cards. If not, the asker has to draw. Matches of 4 must be made.
Matching: Every child gets a card with a weather vocab on it. One other student has a match to that card. They must ask everyone "How's the weather?" "It's sunny today." "Oh, how nice." If they have a stormy card, they move on. 
Revolving pairs: Children stand in two lines facing each other. One side has a card with a weather vocab word on it. They ask the partner with the card, "How's the weather?" and the partner replies. When everyone has finished, the card people shift down one until they have talked to everyone. Then the sides shift.
Gender competition: Girls against boys. Whoever wins gets candy. It's just that much fun. Sometimes it can be me pointing to a word on the board and the first team to shout it out gets a point. Sometimes it's who can speak more clearly. Sometimes it's them writing it. You just never know.
The nameless game: I haven't named this one yet. Everyone stands in a circle with one loner in the middle. He must close his eyes and turn around while the circle says the key phrase three times. When we stop, he opens his eyes and asks the person he's pointing at the key phrase. Then the person replies. Then they switch. They love this game too. Once again, I don't know why.


11:50-12:00
We have a test. We always have a test at the end to see who actually learned something. The tests can vary, but they're always verbal, requiring the child to say a few words or a sentence. Then they do another zombie chant ("Thank you, teacher.") and go to lunch. 


And that's your typical one hour lesson. Songs, dancing, funny faces, songs, and competition. I don't use pen and paper for two reasons: they take FOREVER to write, and they do that every other minute they're in school. It's good to give them a break.


Tuesday, 1:00-2:00
I teach 6th grade. These guys are higher level, so we're learning things like a slice of pizza, a carton of ice cream, a bar of soap, etc., and big/bigger/biggest, tall/taller/tallest, etc. But it's the same idea: games, singing, dancing, and competition. And yes, we still do Genki disco : )


Wednesday, 9:00-10:00
I teach the students that were previously at Soi Prow. They were a 4th, 5th, and 6th grade combined class, but at Bon Den they're just a 4th grade class. However, we follow the same lessons that we do for the 2nd grade. The Soi Prow kids are very low level. To give you some background: Soi Prow is a Lao village, so their primary language is Lao. Then they learn Northern Thai, which is the regional language. Once they go to school they have to learn Central Thai, which is only about a 60% overlap (the same difference between Spanish and Portuguese). So teaching them English fries their brain. Soi Prow also has a lot of interbreeding and lacks diversity in the gene pool, so you end up with awkward facial structures and lower level students.


Thursday, 11:00-12:00
I teach my 6th grade again! I love this class. They know what they're doing. They are the bomb diggity (is it illegal to say that in this decade? If so, I apologize).


Friday: Off. All the Thai staff from the Life Development Center (the ministry here on the compound) comes back from the villages and we have a refresher day.


Saturday, 10:00
I hand out with the Sop Gorn kids. These are kids from a few villages over who study English in school and want two things: English practice and an American friend. I just so happen to provide both of those! So we usually just talk about Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift and play Bananagrams. They love that game. And they're getting good at it, too. I've had to stop letting them win.
1:30-3:00
Adult English class at the church. I'm not in charge, but I help out. It's fun getting to be the one who already knows what the weather's like today ;)




And that's my week. English, English, English, and then Thai when I get sick of English. When I'm not teaching I'm helping Cheri and Jeri with projects, babysitting Sydney and Noah, or reading through the box books my parents send me. This week was special, though, because the Nehemiah kids got here! I think I told you about them before, but they're college kids coming through the International Mission Board to teach English. They don't teach here at my schools, but we're their home base for the summer. They arrived Friday morning and jumped into four days of Thai learning, teaching training, cultural immersion, and curriculum planning. They leave tomorrow morning for their destinations. Kaitlyn and Amy are going to dorms in Mae Charim, Catherine and  Bailey are going to dorms in Pua, and Laranda and Rebekah are going to dorms here in Chiang Klang. I'll get to see Laranda and Rebekah at church occasionally. The guys, Adam and Nick, are going to a village in the middle of nowhere, Ba Kahm. They have to rough it, but then again, they're guys. They should live. They're taking a live chicken with them, if that tells you anything.
If you care to keep up with any of the Nehemiah kids, blogs are:
Bailey
Amy
Adam


This weekend was also super exciting because I met Megan! Megan is a Peace Corps volunteer who lives in Chiang Klang and is in need of American friends to keep her sane. Luckily, I can do that! She hung out with the group on Friday and Sunday, and she'll probably be mentioned a few more times in this blog.


And now, although I know you love procrastinating on whatever task is waiting on another browser, I must go plan lessons for tomorrow. Genki, here I come.

My old classroom at Soi Prow.

The King looks over every classroom.

A waterfall in Thailand!

Nehemiah kids at the waterfall.

Amy and Sydney.

Noah doing whatever Noah does.

At the top of the falls!

A horrible picture of my Bon Den kids eating lunch. I apologize for not being a good photographer :(

Singin' in the rain... in Singapore!

I am now a legal "tourist" of Thailand! Praise Jesus. Here was the problem: back in 2010 I received false information about my visa for coming to Thailand for 90 days. Normally, people from the USA and other rich countries are allowed into Thailand for 30 days, free of charge. After that they require you to have a visa, which costs money and time. Unfortunately, I didn't know this until I had already come to Thailand and received my 30 day visa. So the safest and most exciting plan to renew my visa? Go to Singapore.


Fast facts about Singapore:
-Singapore is a city-state.
-It is the southern most country in Continental Asia, comprised of 63 islands. How an island country is considered a part of "continental" Asia beats me, but it's true.

Me standing on the southern-most point of continental Asia.

-Singapore has a tropical rain forest climate, averaging 79% relative humidity in the morning. This made coming back to Thailand feel like a trip to the Sahara. The relative humidity here is only about 34%, so I'm making a pact with myself to stop commenting on the humidity.... tomorrow.
-About 5 million people live in Singapore, of which only 2.9 million were born locally. Most Singaporeans are of Chinese, Malay, or Indonesian decent. About 40 percent of the population are foreigners (like you and me)!
-The Port of Singapore is one of the world's five busiest ports.
-The main religion is Buddhism, with Christianity coming behind in second place.
-There's no specific culture that defines the Singaporeans due to foreign invasion and mixed background. It's like the melting pot of Asia.
-But most importantly, Singapore is everything America wants to be. It's like a 272 square-mile America. Most people are fluent in English, there are big, pretty buildings dedicated to shopping and movie theaters and restaurants and spas, and it's clean. There are also random abstract sculptures on every corner. Oh, and everyone takes public transportation. Bonus: Lots of cute little Asians in matching school uniforms carrying massive textbooks. Americans just can't get enough of this little country, which is probably why so many Americans live there.
Although my visit to Singapore was brief, I had a chance to do quite a bit (that is, when I wasn't chilling at the Royal Thai Embassy). Like I mentioned before, Singapore is a tropical rain forest, located about 85 miles north of the equator. It rains quite a bit there, something I didn't find out until after I arrived sans raincoat and umbrella. So what does Gabbie like to do when it's raining outside? 
Watch movies. That's right, I spent the majority of my time in Singapore watching movies, simply because the theaters are accessible underground from the subway stations, so getting wet is totally unnecessary. I watched Fast Five, Kung Fu Panda 2, and the Hangover 2. Fast Five was the best by far, simply because it contained both Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. The Hangover 2 could have been completely unavoidable, but my curiosity finally got the best of me. For those of you who don't know, Hangover 2 was filmed in Bangkok, which is in Thailand, which is where I have been for the past month. So I had to watch it. And to answer some questions for those of you who've seen it: No, not every woman in Thailand is a transvestite. Yes, we do drive on the opposite side of the road. Yes, you can drink soda out of a bag. No, you couldn't get a monk to drink and do drugs after kidnapping him. No, monkeys don't run through the streets of Bangkok, especially not drug-dealing ones. And now that I've ruined all the excitement for you, you must know that you can still count on Bradley Cooper, who, no matter what role he plays in Hollywood, will always capture the hearts of any female audience (maybe males, too. I don't know).
I also went to Sentosa Island while I was in Singapore. Two words: Tourist trap. This little island has lots to do, as long as you have lots of money to give it in return. So I wasn't too impressed. I did, however, learn to ride a Segway because it was reasonably priced and I'd never done it before. It was like a nice hour-long stroll on the beach, except you didn't get all that disgusting sand in your toes and all over your legs because you were on a Segway! It was absolutely fabulous. Next item on my Christmas list: Segway. 
The other fabulous thing I did in Singapore was eat. Not because the food was fabulous or because it's different from that in the States (or in Thailand), but because I ate at the same place all three nights. Genki Sushi. Genki means "happy" in Japanese. I know this because one of the English teaching resources we use here is called Genki English. But Genki Sushi was awesome. Here's what goes on:
You are assigned a table by a hostess.
This iPad is waiting for you.

You order.
Your food comes out on this little train from the kitchen! 

And if you order tea, the hot water is right there at your table.

You send your train back.
You eat your food.
The end.
Absolutely fabulous. I have never been so impressed with impersonal food service in my life. I'm not a fan of interacting with cashiers, waiters, bus drivers, etc. So anytime I can live life without human interaction I become overly-thrilled. Genki Sushi needs to come to my college next year. 
Okay. So visa, movies, Sentosa Island, Genki Sushi. There was one more thing: THE LION KING!

I must say that I was absolutely thrilled to find that when I typed "Shows in Singapore" into Google, The Lion King Musical stint in Singapore comprised the first dozen hits. Tickets weren't cheap, but then I do have the greatest parents a traveling teen could ask for. So, I bought my ticket. And I went. And I would be violating the quality of the musical if I tried to explain it in words. The choreography, the music, the songs, the plot, the lighting, the sets, and, most of all, the costumes, made for the most magical theatrical performance I've ever witnessed in my life. No exaggeration. When I left, I was in awe of every ounce of creativity poured into the production. It was absolutely phenomenal. Go see it. Now. Or whenever it comes back to your country. HUGE thanks to my parents for letting me go and experience it. It's definitely something I will never, ever forget. 
So that was Singapore. Then I left and came back to Thailand.
I arrived in Bangkok on Friday afternoon and then took an overnight bus back to Chaing Klang, where I did an immediate 180 turn-around to teach at an English camp being held at a village about two hours from here. 

I taught weather. It was perfect, because the day went from sunny to cloudy, then to rainy, then to stormy. 
I enjoyed teaching the 80+ kids, all ranged from 6th to 9th grade, but I'm glad to be back from Singapore so I can go teach at the schools next week! I missed an entire week last week, so Cheri subbed for me. It was actually great that she subbed for me one day, because as she was having lunch with the teachers, she was asked about Christianity and about what we believe in. (Remember only .25% of the Thai population is Christian). So it was really incredible for her to be able to share what we believe and why we're here. There's no way I could have done that because I can barely ask for a fork in Thai. Cheri, on the other hand, is fluent. The Lord just keeps opening up doors for the team here, which is super exciting :)
Other side notes about life here:
Schools around here like to cancel simply because they don't feel like having school. So showing up to a school on a Wednesday morning only to find crickets chirping is quite common. This has happened to me twice now, and I've learned to roll with it.
I finally got curtains in my room! It didn't bother me when I didn't have them, but I think the other missionaries were a bit concerned about accidentally getting a free show.

I have called off the co-existing with certain bugs. This includes ants and the bugs that are attracted to my lights at night. They just couldn't keep their side of the deal. Oh well, their loss... literally.
The Nehemiah students come Friday! The Nehemiah kids are college aged kids who are coming for the summer to teach English. There are six girls and two guys, all teaching in schools and villages in the area.
Biw still thinks I'm anorexic because I don't eat rice 24/7. She's constantly telling me to eat more (in English), and I'm constantly telling her I'm full (in Thai). Those are two phrases we know well.
In Bangkok I bought a bunch of postcards. If you would like a postcard from yours truly, just give me your address and I'll stick one in the mail.
I also went to the Botanical Gardens in Singapore. Here are some pictures:

I got a care package! Full of books and pretzels and magazines. For those of you who didn't know me well before I started traveling, I will tell you now that about 70% of my former diet consisted of pretzels. But they just don't have them here. Nor do they have books in English. So I got both :) Once again, I have the greatest parents in the world. No doubt about it.

Pad Thai, or The King and I? Take your pick.

Let's talk about Thailand for a second, since that is where I am right now and since most people don't know much about Thailand. Let's start with what most people have a brief understanding of: Pad Thai.


To answer some of your questions: 
Yes, people actually eat pad Thai in Thailand. No, I don't know if it's similar to that in America, since I only ate pad Thai twice, and both times it was the rice version, or cow pad. But yes, it is good here. No, not everything is spicy. According to my Thai teacher, Nui, food in the north is not nearly as spicy as food in the south, just as food in the northern states of America is not as greasy as that in the south. And (I'll take a moment to let you gasp here), I've only had pad Thai once in Thailand thus far. And I've been here three weeks. So there you have it: it is not the norm to eat pad Thai three meals a day, seven days a week. Other food includes a veggie mix of eggplant, carrots, tomatoes, and sometimes meat over a plate of rice; a bowl of noodle soup with a chicken leg in it; and Mama Noodles (the Thai version of Ramen Noodles). 
However, another factor of my lack of pad Thai consumption could be that I feed myself. Notice I said feed, not cook. And so, Mama Noodles, cereal, apples, hot dogs without buns, and canned tuna are the main percentages of my diet. Except on Tuesday and Thursday nights, that is, when my dorm mate Biw, who is a Thai seminary student, cooks real Thai food for me for dinner. This serves two purposes: to make sure I don't die of malnutrition, and to force me to practice my Thai and her to practice her English. Biw cooks all the time. She actually likes it. She brings out loads of ingredients every single day just to make herself a plate of food. I, on the other hand, eat my food when she's not around, as to not make any kitchen situations awkward. Except this morning. Here's the back story:
Last week we went to Chiang Mai for a missionary conference. Chiang Mai is the second largest city in Thailand. I was on nanny duty for Noah and Sydney so their parents could convene with other missionaries and not have to worry about their children jumping out of windows. Big city visits are very exciting for missionaries out in the boonies because the following items suddenly become available at the grocery store: cheese, ham, microwave popcorn, Pop-tarts, Mountain Dew, pancake mix, maple syrup, mac and cheese in a box, Quaker pre-packaged oatmeal, canned soup, and tomato sauce. All of these things are imported from the states, and they are by no means cheap. I paid 90 baht, or about $3 for a single box of Kraft Mac and Cheese. And believe me when I say it will be savored. While I was in Chiang Mai I also bought a box of pancake mix, in the event that one Saturday morning I would wake up and actually have the willpower to turn on the stove and make pancakes. Let's make this clear: I NEVER turn on the stove. I've only had to use it 3 times since I arrived. Everything else is cooked in the microwave. 
So, last night Biw and I were having our Thai dinner, and she suggested that we eat breakfast together as well. I thought, Gee, what a great time for me to pull out my pancake mix and make her an American breakfast!! So it was set: 8 am, Saturday morning. American Pancake Breakfast. I should have known something would go wrong. I made the batter. Easy. Then I went to turn on the stove. This is where I realized hat I had never actually made pancakes by myself. I mean, sure I had helped mix the batter and flip the pancakes, but I had no idea what level to turn the stove to. Those poor pancakes were charred. Mine was black all the way through, and Biw's was burnt on the bottom. But she ate it with a smile on her face, which made me happy. She's so polite. So Pancake Mission: Failed. But that's okay, since I also had my microwavable Quake Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal to fall back on. 


Alright. I apologize for falling off the pad Thai subject for a few paragraphs. But since I'm sure most of you are reading this only because you're procrastinating on something else, we'll call it even. Next up: The King.
You've all seen The King and I, right? If not, it's another great reason to procrastinate. 
His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej is the longest reigning current monarch in the world. He has surpassed the Queen of England by a few years. And when I say he's the King, I mean, he's the King. Buddha might as well step aside, because the King is much godlier in the mind of the Thai people. For example, he is on all the money. Not just one bill, like all the former US Presidents, but every single piece of currency issued in Thailand. You cannot step on a coin if it is on the ground. You also cannot lick the back of a postage stamp, all of which have the face of the King on them. You can't even mutter a bad phrase in conjunction with the King's name, or you might be jailed for a decade or two. Also, if you're ever lucky enough to see the King in person, your head cannot be higher than his. 
On top of all of this, this King has actually been a great King. I can't go on about all of his accomplishments, since the government has blocked the Wikipedia article and I'm a bit too lazy to conjure up other sources. But he's a good King, and the people love him. Unfortunately, he's quite old and deteriorating in health, so he probably won't be alive much longer. His death will most likely make the country stop everything for a few weeks. But we won't talk about that now, since he is still very much alive. And a random fact: he was actually born in Cambridge, Massachusetts. So for all of you who feel that Obama can't be a good president if he wasn't born on American soil, just look at the awesome King of Thailand and know that great people don't have to be born on the soil of the country they rule. 


Other things about Thailand:


There are three different types of Thai. Northern Thai, Southern Thai, and Central Thai. I feel like there might be another one too, but I can't remember. Google's not telling me. Obviously, being in Northern Thailand, I hear a lot of Northern Thai. However, this does not sound any different to my ears than Central Thai, which is what I'm learning. This makes it incredibly hard to teach English, though. Schools are taught in Central Thai. So if you learn Northern Thai when you're little, then go to school and learn Central Thai, then try to learn English in Central Thai, it can get pretty difficult. But it's even worse for my students at Soi Prow because it is village with a lot of Laos people in it (we're about 30 miles from the Laos border). So these children learn Laos, Northern Thai, Central Thai, and then English. By the time I get to them you can tell they're a little burnt out. We fix this by dancing and singing and playing games and loading them up on candy :)


Music Videos. Thais have their own music, which is totally refreshing since the Europeans seem to be content with listening to American music. Thai music is fine, but Thai people love to sing along. Therefore, every music video has karaoke words at the bottom. This is by no means a huge problem, it's just a statement. 


Rice is the food to eat here. Just as Americans can't survive without PB&Js, Thais can't survive without rice. In fact, Biw thinks I'm on the brink of anorexia, not because I don't eat, but because I don't eat rice. Don't eat rice and you'll die of starvation, according to the locals. Perhaps this is why Biw enjoys feeding me a few times a week. I'm like a charity case to her.


Alrighty. That's it. I'm off to bed so I can wake up at 4:15 and go running. This practice, by the way, has been mighty successful. Finishing my runs by 5:30 means I get to avoid dogs, heat, traffic, and awkward stares from locals. G'night!

The world didn't end, so now you have no excuse to not read this.

Well, I apologize for not blogging lately. But to be honest, I didn't want to bother with it if the world really was going to end on the 21st of May. But since it's already May 22nd here in Thailand, I think we're safe. But this is a good thing, since now you are all still alive to hear about my amazing adventures in Thailand :)
First of all, I have to say that God is doing amazing work in Thailand. Last week when the staff went to Bangkok for a conference (remember I mentioned I was here all by myself?) they met with all the protestants in Thailand. As of right now there are 400,000 Christians in Thailand. This means that only about .25% of people in Thailand are Protestant. The Christians want to change that. So, they have a vision. If everyone does their part, they want to have 1 million Christians in Thailand by 2015. Obviously, this is no easy task. But it's doable. It's totally doable. Most of the other 99.75% of the people in Thailand are Buddhist. So add that to your prayer list: Buddhist need to start humming in the name of Jesus.
So now that I've filled you in on the Big Mission in Thailand, I'm going to fill you in on what actually goes on around here. I live on a compound with three other missionaries and a seminary student. Cheri and David have two children, whom Cheri home schools while David does village visits, and Jeri is the boss of everything. Bew (I think that's how you spell her name) is a seminary student interning here for a year. The rest of the staff (there are about 10 of them, I think) lives elsewhere. Basically they do village visits. They have this ministry where they have teams of staff drive up to the villages to teach and have worship services. It's pretty cool. I know this because I went on one last Tuesday. We drove way up into the mountains to the Sakat village. First we taught an English class, followed by visits to certain families, then a worship service in a woman's house. The only catch is that it rained. Rain isn't so bad. You learn that when it rains a lot (which it does here). But this was intense rain. Not just raining cats and dogs, but raining every species in the Kingdom Animalia. It was ridiculous. And when David gives me pictures from the visit, I'll post them on here for you to see. (I apologize for being lazy with the whole picture-taking thing, but I find it pointless to take pictures of things that everyone else is taking pictures of. I find that if I'm patient, I can just borrow theirs).
But the main ministry used to be a clinic here on the compound. Here's the building:

Former clinic, now office building.

They had to shut down the clinic a few years ago because they didn't have a Thai doctor there. So now it's just used for offices for the staff.

And finally, here's what I'm actually doing:
I came here to teach English and help out with whatever Jeri and Cheri tell me to do. So I do that. Since I got here I've started an English class on Saturday mornings for some teens who live a few villages over, I've taken over the Sunday School English class for kids on Sunday mornings, I've planned (with Cheri's help) my curriculum for teaching in the schools, and I've helped prepare materials for the Nehemiah Project (more details on that later). I'm teaching at two schools: Soi Prow and Bon Den. I'm not actually sure that that's how the names are spelled, but that's how they sound. I go to Soi Prow on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Bon Den on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I love all my students so far. The kids from Soi Prow often come to the compound in the late afternoon to play games, since we have a lot of toys and a tennis court here. It's a great way to connect with them and make sure they practice their English :)
Now for the Nehemiah Project. This is an organization of the International Mission Board that lets high school and college aged kids go to third world countries for a summer and help out. We're getting eight Nehemiah kids in June who are going to teach English, and Cheri and Jeri are both bending over backwards to try to get all the logistics worked out. For me, this means laminating thousands of Days of the Week flashcards and cutting them out. It's pretty mindless and I don't mind the work,  but I definitely won't complain when it's finished.

So that's what I've been up to so far. Oh, and watching American Idol. Jeri has a TV, and every Thursday night we watch it! I'm hooked on Scotty. I've never liked country music until he came along. I'm sure if I could stand his accent for more than 10 minutes I might even daydream about him. But regardless, Go Scotty!!! I'll be rooting for him in the future.
Also in the future: I leave today to go to Chang Mai for a few days to watch some missionary kids while their parents attend conferences. Then I go to Singapore to get my visa fixed. Then I go full swing into teaching. Then the Nehemiah kids come. Then a group of 17 people comes from the states. I am quickly learning that things are never quiet around here. I'm sure I'll have more interesting stuff to blog about in the future. And I'll put up more pictures, I promise!

The dorms where I stay!

The toilets. I actually think they're pretty cool. They conserve way more water than western toilets.

The church!

And the pool. I am so grateful for that thing.

Thailand makes my feet stink.

I am in Northern Thailand... in the mountains!

Thailand makes my feet smell. I know that's an awkward way to start a blog, but it's so true. Ever since I stepped off the plane, my feet have been grossing me out. Maybe it's because the temperature averages 349.5 degrees Fahrenheit everyday (that's a conservative estimate, I swear). Or maybe there's something in the water. Either way, my feet stink.
I arrived in Thailand on Tuesday night after flying from New York to Hong Kong, and then Hong Kong to Bangkok. But my first crisis actually arose before that. The original plan was to arrive in Bangkok on Tuesday night and fly to Nan on Wednesday morning on this cute little airline called Happy Air. But the week before I arrive in Thailand, their contract expires and the company temporarily shuts down. So then I was stuck without a flight from Bangkok to Nan. These cities are about 12 hours apart by car. So, after many urgent phone calls to my contacts in Thailand, we arranged for me to take a bus to Chiang Klang, the city nearest our village. So here's how it went:

9:30 pm (Tuesday): I arrive in BKK Airport. I wait until 6 am to go to the bus station by taxi.
6 am (Wednesday): I go to the bus station by taxi.
9 am: I get a call that the boy who was supposed to get my bus ticket, Ben, got it for the other bus station in Bangkok.
12 pm: Ben takes me to the other bus station.
6 pm: I leave on a bus from Bankok to Chiang Klang.
6 am (Thursday): I arrive in Chiang Klang.

Now, I can't tell you what happened between 6 pm and 6 am because I was asleep before the bus even left the station. I slept until around midnight, when the bus stops for a noodle and bathroom break. I stumbled off the bus to the bathroom, but afterwards I didn't really feel like eating noodles. So I got back on the bus and passed out again until the attendant woke me up and informed me that we were at my stop. That was the best 12 hour slumber I'd had in a while, considering I had an aisle seat on a bus. But after being up for 48 hours (I didn't sleep well on the plane), it was great.

So, I'm here now.  I am living on a compound with other Americans and a Thai. Jeri is the boss, Cheri is the English teaching whiz, and her two kids, Noah (6) and Sydney (4), are very... energetic. I haven't met Cheri's husband yet because he is in the states for a wedding.
This week is actually a very interesting one because I'm the only one here. Sunday morning the entire staff (Thai and American) went to Bangkok for a conference. (Most of the staff are Thai, and they all live in the villages.) So anyway, I'm just here, chilling out, learning Thai, and preparing for my English classes which start on Monday. That, by the way, is why I'm here in the first place. To teach English.
So I've been learning Thai this week, and it's hard. Thai is a tonal language, so mai, mai, mai, mai, and mai, all said in five different tones, mean five different things. Basically, it's hard.  But the written language is beautiful. Here's a random paragraph pulled off of Google Translate. I can sound it out for you (I learned to do that this week!), but I can't translate it.
ตอนนี้ฉันไม่สามารถบอกคุณถึงสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น เพราะผมกำลังนอนหลับอยู่ก่อนที่รถประจำทางได้ซ้ายสถานี ฉันนอนจนประมาณเที่ยงคืนเมื่อรถประจำทางหยุดสำหรับบะหมี่และทำลายห้องน้ำ ฉันสะดุดหยุดรถประจำทางไปห้องน้ำ แต่หลังจากนั้นฉันไม่ได้จริงๆรู้สึกเหมือนกินก๋วยเตี๋ยว ดังนั้นผมจึงได้กลับบนรถบัสและผ่านออกมาอีกครั้งจนเข้าร่วมปลุกผมขึ้นและแจ้งผมว่าเราที่ป้ายของฉัน นั่นคือดีที่สุด ชั่วโมงนอนหลับฉันมีในขณะที่การพิจารณาผมได้ที่นั่งริมทางเดินบนรถบัส แต่หลังจากที่ถูกขึ้นเป็นเวลา ชั่วโมง (ผมไม่ได้นอนหลับสบายบนเครื่องบิน) มันก็ยิ่งใหญ่มาก

Coexisting
Bugs and lizards are everywhere. When I first came I tried to kill them all. But that is extremely messy and hard to do (especially with lizards). I imagine this is what tyrants feel like when they are conducting a genocide among lesser peoples. So after 48 hours I had to convince myself that I was, in fact, the bigger animal, and that if we can all live peacefully together, I won't hurt anything (mosquitoes excluded). But the ants are hard to not get annoyed at. There are thousands of them and they will one day kill me (indirectly, of course). You see, they love my sugary food, and if I'm not careful they will eat all of my food and make me starve to death. Basically, this just means that sugar-everything goes in the fridge. Except my sugar-free gum. They don't eat that! I'm pleasantly surprised. But the ants outside have something going on. I'm constantly impressed by their productiveness. Look at this picture:

No matter how hot it is, they're out there all day going back and forth in these lines. They're so organized! I'm sure the military could use a tip or two from these ants. But I can't gush about them too much. For all I know they're transporting my Corn Flakes piece by piece to their humble abode.
The one way to not drive myself crazy with the bugs is to not turn on any lights at night. Lights at night tend to attract the bugs that did not agree to my terms, so this normally results in my going to bed early.

Running
Because I go to bed early, I wake up early. This is good, because if I'm not done running by 5:45 am, I practically melt onto the pavement. As I mentioned before, it's hot here. And it's humid. Combine the two, and you have a death sentence. It's far more draining than the following foreign countries I've been to: Costa Rica, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, the Bahamas, or the Cayman Islands. Believe it or not, though, the heat is actually helping me have more productive mornings. Because it's impossible to sleep in the heat. It probably doesn't matter if I go to bed at 1 am, the heat will still get to me around 4:30. So, I go running and then jump in the pool. Problem solved.

Food
The funny (not) thing about Thailand is that I have to prepare my own food. I hate cooking my own food. I have a rule: it must come out of a box or package and be able to be ready in less than 10 minutes. If this can't happen, I'm not cooking. End of story. Luckily, Thais have the same idea. They just opened up a grocery store here a few months ago, and it is dedicated to packaged food such as ramen noodles and hot dogs. Once again, problem solved.
However, I did have one instance where I had to cook myself food. Jeri gave me a chicken breast when I got here, and I couldn't just chuck it in the trash. So I cooked it! In the microwave. I felt so proud of myself. It didn't taste good, and I have no intentions of perfecting my recipe of chicken and salt. But I did it. I cooked meat. Here is what I normally survive on:

Taro Ice Cream. It's made from a taro root, and is absolutely delicious on a hot day.

Rambutans. This cute little hairy fruit is a pain to peel and eat, but its goodness outweighs the  work.

Ramen noodle-like rice on the left (just add hot water), and duck flavored  Ramen on the right!

Dogs
I hate dogs. I really do. I've been attacked a few times while running, so I normally try to keep my distance. The problem is that everyone in Thailand owns a dog. But here's the good news: dog owners in Thailand aren't as nice to their dogs as the dog owners in America. The dogs here are pretty scared of everything because they're beaten. And whenever they start trouble amongst their owners, the owners eat them. Problem solved. So, running with a rock in my hand and growling at the dogs is more than enough to scare them away back to their owners.... who then scare them away to the woods. Once again, I have learned that I am the bigger animal :)

Me!
I have learned that I am exclusive in Thailand. Seriously. Just as Americans are captivated by the French way of life, so are the Thais with the American way. They want white skin (made available by lotions and body washes), brown and blonde hair (hair dye), and most of all, they want to speak English (made possible by me!). The villagers are fascinated by white people. Not just any white people, though. You have to be young, have some style sense, and have light skin. You also have to speak English. I can't say how many times I've walked into the market and been touched by strangers, asked out by middle school boys, or been invited to people's homes. And I've only been here 10 days. Now I know how Lady Gaga feels. Some people are shy and try to discretely follow you. But the majority of people see you, call out to you, and come running, even if they have no idea who you are. I have learned that I'm white, and that's all that matters. Realistically I could have the entire village wrapped around my finger in a week. But I'm nice and I can't in good conscience take advantage of nice people. So I won't. I'll just teach English at my schools.

Okay. Well, I guess that's it. Not too much is going on this week because, like I said, I'm the only one here. But I know that after my first day of teaching I will have tons of stories! Until then I'll just sit here, sweating my brains out and studying Thai.

The Good Ol' USofA

I'm pretty sure this past weekend was a dream for journalists all over the world. I mean, you have the Royal Wedding (I'm not even too sure why it's capitalized), the birth of Mariah Carey's twins, the storms and destruction in the south, the postponed (again) shuttle launch in Cape Canaveral, the White House Correspondents Dinner, and the death of Osama bin Laden! All in one weekend. And what did I do? I waltzed around DC eating giant pretzels :)
You see, I absolutely love Washington DC. The city part of it. I mean, the monuments are nice too, but America is way too monumental.  I'm not sure if I'm the only one who thinks that, but it's true. Don't get me wrong. We should totally honor those who served in our wars and were great presidents, but I think we can repay them with something other than monuments. Have you seen Lincoln's? It's HUGE. I mean, the guy wasn't even that honest. Big white monuments taking up precious real estate and tax dollars- we just can't get enough!
The other thing I love about DC is the Smithsonian Institute. I'm pretty sure that everyone who has been to DC can testify that you could spend a month with the Smithsonian and still never learn everything they have to offer. I've been to the important ones before (American History, Air and Space), but this time I went to the art museums (Asian and African), along with the Portrait Gallery and the Postal Museum! I also made trips back to the big ones I'd previously graced with my presence. But I think the best one was the Postal Museum was one of the coolest. Did you know that there's some kind of intense Postal Investigative Service that has to do all kinds of investigating every time a natural disaster strikes? It's to protect the safety of those who use the mail system.  And did you know that after WWII, the government gave all their old trucks and vehicles to the USPS along with over a thousand gallons of Army Green paint? I suppose that resourcefulness helps make up for all those monuments on the Mall...
Now, the real reason I was in DC (besides the fact that I LOVE DC) was because my mom had a conference for the American Society of Breast Surgeons (or some long name like that). I went to two things with her, the first being a lecture on the ­­­­­­­­­­­­­_______________. Let me tell you something. You know what it feels like popping back into Algebra after missing a week of school? That horrible clueless-ness that makes you feel like you're looking at Mandarin Chinese on the chalk board? Well, after missing a Biology degree, a med school degree, and countless hours of residency and surgical training, I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. And, based on the blank looks and face-palms of the surgeons behind me, I could only guess that they didn't either. But my mom was there, taking notes the entire time. That's how she puts food on our table... Go mom!


The second event I went to involving doctors was the President's Gala. This is like a prom for doctors. They get all dressed up and pretend to run late and everything. Except these doctors hack off boobs for a living and drink countless glasses of wine before dinner and then enjoy a performance by the Capitol Steps (which, I must say, is a fabulously entertaining political comedy. But then again, maybe that's only the case after a half bottle of wine. I don't know). But it was fun nonetheless. 
But in the midst of all that doctor-pretending and Smithsonian stuff, I did have a chance to catch up with a good friend from high school, Zack Cady, who is going to school in DC. It's quite refreshing to talk to him sometimes, especially since we agree on almost every political topic. We had cheesecake and coffee and talked for quite a while, reassuring each other that there are a few sane people in this world with concurring political views. 


Oh yeah. There were two other things I did in DC. One, I went to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. That's where they make all the money! It's pretty cool how they do it. Especially when they're popping out 1000 $100 bills every minute. And the other thing I did was go to Arlington Cemetery. Let me tell you: there's a lot of dead people at that place. 
Oh! And I went to the zoo in DC. I'm not too sure what my obsession has been with zoos lately. Maybe it's because I get to see animals in a cage and I don't have to trek through the wild to get to them nor am I obligated to interact with them in any way. But the main reason I went to the National Zoo was because they have Panda Bears! I know, right? Like, the only time you ever see a panda is when they show a documentary stating that there are only 13 pandas left in the wild, and that the Chinese government charges a billion bucks a year for panda leases. 
So anyway, the pandas just sat there. They eat bamboo for, like, 16 hours a day. So that's what they were doing when we were there and I'm sure that's what they were doing the entire day when we weren't there. The pandas are pretty fast at eating bamboo, too. But they do have an easy job. Just sit against a rock. Eat bamboo. Let insane tourists take your photo. My brother could do that if you replaced the bamboo with potato chips and Oreos. Or maybe he would eat bamboo, too. I don't know. There's just no telling with Andrew.

Just to let you know, I totally stole this image from Google. 

But the thing that drove me crazy about DC was the school groups. I completely forgot that it was typical spring break time, and therefore thousands of kids of all ages appeared in the city wearing horribly tacky matching shirts and talking loudly to one another. The middle schoolers (girls and boys) annoyed me, the preschoolers annoyed me, the high schoolers annoyed me, the foreign exchange students annoyed me, heck, even the Girl Scouts annoyed me. If there's anything I've learned traveling alone, it's that travelling in a group makes you completely oblivious to your surroundings and thus makes you a nuisance to the people around you and an embarrassment to your institution, whatever that institution may be. I know, I've travelled in groups before, but I never quite realized how much of a pain groups are for the rest of the tourists who try to arrive in a city without disturbing the peace. So to all my readers: keep that in mind next time you're travelling in a group.


So that was DC. Now I'm going to tell you about my college fiasco before another dozen people blow up my inbox with inquiries. Well, that and I also don't feel like writing a second blog for college stuff, since that is not part of my journey.


But here's the timeline:
Sometime sophomore year: I decided I wanted to join the military and do ROTC. 
A random night, September, 2010: Mom makes me sit down and decide what I'm going to be when I grow up. Apparently, no one has a major called "I don't care," and if they did, ROTC probably wouldn't accept it. So, I choose Air Traffic Controller. After 48 hours, it grew on me.
September/October 2010: I fill out Air Force and Navy ROTC applications and apply to the following universities: Embry Riddle Aeronautical, Purdue, Ohio State, and Arizona State. The last three of these were randomly chosen. I was accepted to all.
December 2010: Interviews for both ROTCs. I told both of them that I would be willing to do a language fast-track program if chosen. Sometime after this I start to lose interest in sitting in a dark room all day telling pilots what to do.
February 2011: I get a partial Air Force ROTC scholarship to the Ohio State for Russian language and studies. No problem here, except our waiting for the Navy to see if they make a better offer. Keep in mind that National Choose a College Day is May 1st.
April 22, 2011: I get a full ride Navy ROTC scholarship to Rice University. I didn't apply to this one. Of course, the one college on my list of 5 universities is the one they chose to give me a scholarship to. Apparently, from what I found out the next day, Rice is a super prestigious, snotty school, kind of like the Harvard of the south. Apparently, there's no way I can do a last minute app. We think we've hit a dead end.
April 25: We find out that it's not so much the school that matters with Navy ROTC, but rather the ROTC unit. Apparently, I was in luck because Rice and the University of Houston shared an ROTC unit, and UofH loves anyone who even attempted an honors class in high school. I was so in luck. So they proposed I do a fast application to UofH so I could be accepted and still use my scholarship. 
April 25, 26, 27: Crazy nut-case times where I had to re-send all those marvelous test scores and transcripts and redo another whole application! All those hours spent in the fall...wasted. Whatever. Of course, this had to be the week my high school was on spring break. So obviously transcripts couldn't get sent. This caused a slight delay.
May 2: I call to get my transcripts rushed to UofH, completely bypassing National Pick your College Day and resulting in dozens of emails and phone calls from my four other prospective universities. 
Right about now: I should be getting an acceptance call sometime soon about going to the University of Houston. Of course, I wouldn't know if I got it because....I'm in Thailand! In a bus station. But that's a story I'll save for next time :)