Today I went to Kindergarten!

For those of you who don't know, I am volunteering at a kindergarten here in Germany while the rest of my host family goes to school and work. Today was my first day. As you can imagine, it got a bit crazy, although I found it enjoyable nonetheless. Here's my story and thoughts:


Today I went to kindergarten! I woke up early this morning, ate breakfast at 6:30, and was surrounded by three and four year olds by 8:15. My house mother even walked me down the street to my classroom. (Note: Kindergarten here is the equivalent of Preschool in the States. It has no affiliation with the primary school.) 
I was one of the first people there, and there was only one other girl in my classroom- Onja. Apparently she's the first one there everyday, including the teachers. At first I wondered why on earth the students were more excited about attending kindergarten than the teachers. An hour later I knew: why on earth spend more time with Onja than needed? The first lucky one to arrive (which, unfortunately, was me today) gets to listen to Onja complain about her life problems until someone else arrives. She's probably already been to a few shrinks, because she has that sorry look on her face that all crazy people do when they talk to shrinks. She just went on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Then she smiled and took a sip of tea. She then repeated that cycle.
Soon (thank God) other children started filling the halls, removing their infinite layers of winter clothing, even though they had walked from their front door to the car, and from the car to the kindergarten. Our classroom soon was soon filled with 20 loud, obnoxious, way-too-awake-for-8 -in-the-morning children. Although they had just eaten breakfast at home, they were all anxious to dig into the snacks their parents sent: Butter, cheese, and salami sandwiches. Every single child had the same thing, except Linda. Her mother sent grapes with her sandwich. 
Here's a description of some of the children:
Onja (pronounced oh-n-YA): Onja follows the rules. She knows exactly what to do. When she arrives in the morning, she sets the table for snack. Then she goes to the kitchen and asks the worker for milk and tea. Then she sits at the table and waits for her classmates while talking to whichever instructor arrived first. 
Kiara (kee-AR-uh): Kiara doesn't follow the rules. She doesn't get along with Onja. Need I say more?
Jamie (jay-MEE): Jamie wears argyle sweaters and a theoretical crown on his head. In the words of Holden Caulfield: You're a prince, Jamie.
Jamina (ya-MEEN-ah): Jamina is about half the size of everyone else, and therefore the child everyone else enjoys bullying. She cry's A LOT. She also doesn't like to eat.
David: David is from Cameroon, Africa. David is cool. I like him.
Tim: What do you think of when you imagine a four year old named Tim? I think of a pint-size show off. That's what Tim is. 
Marina (mar-EEN-uh): Marina wore a dress today, but didn't like it. So she took it off, hung it next to her coat, and wore a shirt and tights all day. Tim liked this. Marina is Tim's girlfriend. 
Joy: Joy is cool. Today she was wearing a Hello Kitty shirt. 
Vanessa: Vanessa is also cool. 
Jessica: Today Jessica was also wearing a Hello Kitty shirt. The same one as Joy. Jessica didn't like that, but she had to get over it. 
Anna: Anna wears glasses, but doesn't like to wear them and therefore takes them off and leaves them around the room. As you can imagine, this is unsafe.
There are about 10 more in my classroom, but I don't know their names yet. I'm sure I will by the end of these two weeks. 
After snack the children basically have free reign of the playroom and the toys for the next four hours. There is no learning of colors, numbers, or animals. Nor are there many group activities. Every once in a while I would look up and there would be no teachers in the room. This is completely understandable, considering that (from what I've seen) the four year olds can manage by themselves. Here are some stories from today:
There are these really cool magnetic blocks. Tiara and I made spaceships out of them and chased each other around the room making buzzing sounds. Then the boys, led by Jamie, jumped in with their "laser hands" and started shooting us. It was an all out imaginary battle. Kids were dropping like flies all over the place. Turns out, shooting (although imaginary) is not allowed. Way to go, Jamie. You got me in trouble. 
Next Jamie wanted me to help him with a puzzle. No way, kid. I don't play your games anymore. So I played a puzzle with Anna. When we finally got it put together and ready to put away, Tim came over and flung pieces in all four corners of the room. Numerous profanities raced through my head. You're on my list, Tim. And that's not a good place to be.
Before I knew it, Onja was tugging on my arm with tears running down her face. She pointed to a group of about seven children huddled in the playhouse, pretending to serve and eat a meal. So I went over to see what the problem was. It turns out the children wanted to be realistic, so they were eating the leaves from the tree in the corner of the room and pretending to make tea from them. Just don't smoke them, kids. They easily could have, since there was a lighter for the candles in the cabinet with the cups. I decided to leave this matter up to the teachers whenever they returned. 
When I went back to finish the puzzle for the second time with Anna, I saw another boy (we'll call him Bill) trying to wrap up Jessica in a rug. Jessica was crying. Bill was laughing. Kiara was trying to help Jessica out of the rug by pounding him into the ground. I looked away. She's handling this better than I can. 
Where the heck are the teachers?  That was the only thought running through my head for about half an hour. Finally they returned with one orange. I don't even want to know.
At about 10:00, Marina and Tim approached me, holding hands, asking if they could go to the bathroom. Together.  I know you don't mean anything dirty, but no. 
When Tim came back from the bathroom, he sat me down and began a presentation. He held up his pointer finger. Ein. Then another finger. Zwei. Then another finger. Drei. He did this ever-so-slowly until he reached Zehn. Then he moved back down. Neun, acht, sieben... until he reached Ein. Okay, Tim. I know you want to show off, but there are probably children dying behind me, and I can't save them because you're distracting me. Then he started again, this time in English. Remember how I said Tim was a show off? Well, he is. End of that story.
I turned around to see Jamina hanging 10 feet from the ground from the outer railing of the playhouse (it has two stories). How on earth did she manage that? So I ran to fetch her before a catastrophe occured. Crisis averted. See, Tim? You almost let her die. 
Then girls approached me. Like, every single girl in there. And they started playing with my hair. With their chocolatey, germy hands. Dear Lord, what did I do to deserve this? I mean, I've always thought my tresses looked good, but they're nothing so admirable that they must be touched by every four year old in the room. Luckily, I was saved by the misbehavior of two other boys trying to dump tea on each other's head. No freaking way are you going to get tea all over that carpet. I'll make you lick it up if you spill anything.
After those (and many more) instances, the teachers emerged from their hole to announce that we were going to the playroom to play musical chairs. I lost in the second round. Jamie appropriately pointed and laughed. You're a prince, kid. After that, the children were picked up by their mothers to go home and eat lunch. Some of the children stay at the kindergarten for lunch, but only about 10 of 40 in the entire school (thank God). 
Before all the children had a chance to return, it was time for me to leave. As I walked the block back home and ate my banana, I couldn't help but realize how enjoyable it was trying to occupy four year olds for five and a half hours. As stressful as it is, I think this is a fabulous experience for me here in Germany. I can't wait to see what else the four year olds have in store for me!