This week I visited Portland. Not Portland, Maine (which, for those of you who don't know, is where I live now), but Portland, Oregon. You see, when I moved to Portland, Maine I got a job at a touristy shop. And whenever the tourists from Portland, Oregon came in they had this obnoxious laugh that caused my brain to deteriorate a little more each time I heard it.
Me: So where are you from?
Customer: Portland..... (awkward pause)....... OREGON! *Giggle giggle*
Yeah, it was okay the first two times, but after a while I wondered if the mayor had challenged every citizen of Portland, Oregon to visit Portland, Maine. Seriously, there is an overabundance of tourists from Portland, Oregon on the east coast. It's unnatural. But traveling by Amtrak through Oregon presented me with an opportunity to get revenge. There's just one problem: obviously, not many people from Portland, Maine go to Portland, Oregon because the people who asked about my homeland were very surprised whenever I told them. Not a fake surprise like mine had always been, but a genuine surprise. (Unless, of course they're all very good at acting. This is very possible.) Like the woman at the Oregon Historical Society. She said there was no visitor on the record books from Portland, Maine. So either people from Maine forget to sign the record book or no one goes to Oregon. I'm not too sure which one it is.
 |
| Portland! |
Portland, Oregon
- One Voodoo Donut Shop
- Located on a very, very muddy river
- NBA team- The Trailblazers
- Lots of movie theaters that play Indie movies
- Free streetcar in town
- Powell's City of Books
- Nice Library
- Rains ALL the time. Don't straighten your hair. Ever.
- Bigger than Portland, Maine.
 |
| Quick note: While traveling, I've seen plenty of bronze heads that are placed in parks in honor of important people. I'm pretty sure if I was important enough to have a bronze statue of myself, I'd want one like this! |
Portland, Maine
- Dozens of Dunkin Donuts Shops
- Located on the Atlantic Ocean
- Minor League hockey, basketball, and baseball.
- Just a few very expensive Regal Cinemas Fairly
- Decent bus system, but not free
- Longfellow Bookstore
- Nice Library
- Snow in winter, sun in summer. LL Bean is a must.
- Smaller than Portland, Oregon.
So, there's the basics. We'll start with Voodoo Donuts because that place is like heaven in a little rundown shop. Voodoo has pretty amazing donuts. We're talking iced with M&M's, Maple Bacon Bars (maple filled donuts with bacon on top), and tons of other pretty, incredibly tasty donuts. One Voodoo made up for the 13 Dunkin Donuts located within a five mile radius of my house in Maine. Because of this, my diet in Portland consisted of Voodoo Donuts three meals a day. I think the woman working there thought I was on break from Fat Camp, but I didn't care. You have to get Voodoo when you can, you know? Don't waste a good thing when you see it.
Portland, Oregon is located on a river instead of the ocean. I actually didn't know this until I got there. Oops. But the river is so muddy and polluted that a water quality report about 75 years ago stated "A fish would last longer in a frying pan." I suppose that made the city look into the muddy water of their souls and turn in their ways, because that place is crazy about recycling and other green things now. For example, they have a streetcar that you can ride for free in certain areas. I'm sure this doesn't actually keep people from driving cars in the other non-free areas, but it sure helped me :)
I also went to my first NBA game in Portland. I've never been into basketball, so I decided to go while I had the chance. I also went because I couldn't go to the Irish Festival due to my age. It was quite an adventure, actually. The Trailblazers played the Cleveland Cavaliers. I quickly learned that Cleveland had traded LeBron. This was not to their advantage during this game (or any game). Even I could tell they were hurting. We won 111-70. Which was great, because when the team wins coupons come flying at you. Seriously. I got a coupon for a free stack of pancakes at IHOP, a free Egg McMuffin at McDonalds, and a free Chalupa at Taco Bell (that one was because they scored 100 points. The crowd started chanting Chalupa! before half-time, hoping that we could secure a free meal before we died of boredom). So besides my $1.25 donut at Voodoo the next day, all my meals were free. I've never cared before, but I was suddenly glad LeBron wasn't there.
The previous night had also benefited because of my underage status in the alcohol world. The hostel I stayed at planned a pub crawl for that night. Well guess what? I can crawl, but I can't really go into pubs. So I wondered around in the rain looking for something to do until I came across a movie theater that played indie films and documentaries. I walked up to the ticket counter and asked the lady what was playing next. The documentary called Hood to Coast was playing next.
Note: Hood to Coast is a very intense relay race in Oregon that goes 197 miles from Mt. Hood to the coast. Relay teams are comprised of 12 runners who run 3 legs each. It's a pretty big accomplishment to finish it even once. But I didn't know this before I walked into the documentary. I'd never even heard of the race before!
So I went into the theater and saw a row of ladies in red jackets. It was them and me the entire movie. I suppose I can't blame the rest of Portland for not wanting to watch a documentary of running, but I thought there might be some more people present. The film featured four teams, following them through training and race day. And it's a pretty good documentary. It's really informative, interesting, and funny. But when it was over, I stood up and noticed that the row of ladies in red jackets behind me was actually one of the teams featured in the film from the Portland area.
They're called Heart-n-Soul, and the average age of the 12 women is 63. They've run HTC 21 times as a team, and they all still run marathons, HTC, Ironmans, and other hard core races. They have all run Boston recently and plan to run until the day they die. Basically, they're running goddesses. And guess what? I got to talk to them after the race for a while! I was in absolute heaven. I mean, these women are inspiring. Running has been their lifestyle for so long that they can't remember a time when they weren't training for something big. And they're not even famous! They just do it because they love it.
Basically, this was a hint from God to me to get my butt back outside and pound the pavement. It worked. Oh, and if you want to see the movie I know it's on Netflix.
One more thing about Portland, Oregon- it has the largest independent book store in the country, called Powell's City of Books. I have found that that place and the library are both wonderful places to escape to when you've had enough of the rain.
TrackTown, USA
Eugene, Oregon has been dubbed TrackTown, USA by runners all over the country. I suppose it's correct. I mean, it was where Steve Prefontaine went to school and where the University of Oregon is located. I was a little worried going to Eugene because I wanted to do two things there: run on the Pre Trail and see Hayward Field at University of Oregon, and I was going to be there for three days. But I had nothing to worry about! Because when I got to Eugene, which is a super cute little college town that goes comatose over spring break (which it was last week), I found out I have cousins in Eugene! And what's greater? They live only three-ish blocks from my hostel! I know, how ironic is that? Boredom: busted.
My cousins Mike and AJ live there, along with Mike's girlfriend Katy and their adorable daughter Lexi. Anyway, one of the coolest things is that they have a cat named Curtis. He's deaf! So you can insult him and not feel bad. So basically I visited the spots on my checklist and visited with my family. I have to say, Eugene was a pretty cool place :)
 |
| Left to Right: Katy and Lexi, AJ, me, and Mike! |
Sacramento
Sacramento was another family affair, but this one was planned. My Aunt Cat and Uncle Rudy live in Rio Linda, which is basically the same thing as Sacramento, according to my aunt. They're pretty cool people with a super simple lifestyle, which is what I hope my life is like when I'm that age. They're both in the military and they don't really cook and they like to watch TMZ and Two and a Half Men. Totally my kind of lifestyle.
Speaking of Two and a Half Men, I got a Charlie Sheen shirt in Sacramento because I love Charlie Sheen. I mean, I've been waiting for a celebrity to go out of control like he has and not try to hide it. I would love to meet him one day.
Tuesday was a bit of a girl day, since my Aunt Cat and I got pedicures and manicures. I'm sure Rudy didn't mind being left out of that one. That evening we went Old Sacramento, which is the historical part of Sacramento. It has a lot of cool shops that sell cool things (like Charlie Sheen shirts) and they have a Joe's Crab Shack. It's been absolutely forever since I've eaten there, so it ended up being a fabulous evening :)
And so, this brings us to.....
San Fransisco!
Sacramento is pretty close to San Fransisco, so my Aunt Cat and Uncle Rudy took me there on Wednesday. And even though there wasn't much time to see every square inch of the city, we did go to Pier 39 and see the seals, the Golden Gate Bridge, and Alcatraz (all from Pier 39, which has a great view of the three).
Anyway it's been a long time since I've seen seals and I couldn't help but think that they look like barking pigs with fins on the docks. I mean, they certainly aren't pretty, nor do they smell pleasant. And yes, I totally know that the wild seals in San Fransisco are cool. But I also couldn't help but wonder what the other seals think of them. You know how Americans generally rule people from New York City out of the normal American description? It's like, there's Americans and then there's New Yorkers. I wonder if the "real" wild seals do that with the "San Fransiscan" seals. Some seal in Oregon is probably like, "Oh, you saw a seal in San Fransisco? Well, we don't claim them. They just bark on the docks all day." Just a thought.
We also rode the streetcar in San Fransisco. That was fun, but we determined that the only reason those things exist is to please the tourists. They are neither punctual nor comfortable, and if I lived in San Fransisco I'd just walk to work.
Guess what else I did in California? I had a Krispy Kreme donut! I know, I know, there is a Krispy Kreme in every state. But not in Maine. Because Dunkin is all over the place! And I love Dunkin, I do. But since I've been living off of donuts and cupcakes for the past month, I appreciated a little taste from the past. When I was little there was nothing better than Krispy Kreme...... (this is the part where I'm supposed to break out into some sob story about how I miss Krispy Kreme. But I won't. That is the story.)
And so now you're probably thinking to yourself "Gee, Gabbie's getting fat eating donuts and cupcakes all the time." Yeah, keep thinking that. I'm actually quite surprised I'm not morbidly obese right now. One day I'm going to write a memoir called "My Fat Year," and list all the donut and cupcake shops that made me fat and tell of my heartwarming journey back to health. Then it will turn into a movie and I'll make tons of money and go to book signings and appear on The View.
Yeah, right.
No comments:
Post a Comment