Thailand makes my feet stink.

I am in Northern Thailand... in the mountains!

Thailand makes my feet smell. I know that's an awkward way to start a blog, but it's so true. Ever since I stepped off the plane, my feet have been grossing me out. Maybe it's because the temperature averages 349.5 degrees Fahrenheit everyday (that's a conservative estimate, I swear). Or maybe there's something in the water. Either way, my feet stink.
I arrived in Thailand on Tuesday night after flying from New York to Hong Kong, and then Hong Kong to Bangkok. But my first crisis actually arose before that. The original plan was to arrive in Bangkok on Tuesday night and fly to Nan on Wednesday morning on this cute little airline called Happy Air. But the week before I arrive in Thailand, their contract expires and the company temporarily shuts down. So then I was stuck without a flight from Bangkok to Nan. These cities are about 12 hours apart by car. So, after many urgent phone calls to my contacts in Thailand, we arranged for me to take a bus to Chiang Klang, the city nearest our village. So here's how it went:

9:30 pm (Tuesday): I arrive in BKK Airport. I wait until 6 am to go to the bus station by taxi.
6 am (Wednesday): I go to the bus station by taxi.
9 am: I get a call that the boy who was supposed to get my bus ticket, Ben, got it for the other bus station in Bangkok.
12 pm: Ben takes me to the other bus station.
6 pm: I leave on a bus from Bankok to Chiang Klang.
6 am (Thursday): I arrive in Chiang Klang.

Now, I can't tell you what happened between 6 pm and 6 am because I was asleep before the bus even left the station. I slept until around midnight, when the bus stops for a noodle and bathroom break. I stumbled off the bus to the bathroom, but afterwards I didn't really feel like eating noodles. So I got back on the bus and passed out again until the attendant woke me up and informed me that we were at my stop. That was the best 12 hour slumber I'd had in a while, considering I had an aisle seat on a bus. But after being up for 48 hours (I didn't sleep well on the plane), it was great.

So, I'm here now.  I am living on a compound with other Americans and a Thai. Jeri is the boss, Cheri is the English teaching whiz, and her two kids, Noah (6) and Sydney (4), are very... energetic. I haven't met Cheri's husband yet because he is in the states for a wedding.
This week is actually a very interesting one because I'm the only one here. Sunday morning the entire staff (Thai and American) went to Bangkok for a conference. (Most of the staff are Thai, and they all live in the villages.) So anyway, I'm just here, chilling out, learning Thai, and preparing for my English classes which start on Monday. That, by the way, is why I'm here in the first place. To teach English.
So I've been learning Thai this week, and it's hard. Thai is a tonal language, so mai, mai, mai, mai, and mai, all said in five different tones, mean five different things. Basically, it's hard.  But the written language is beautiful. Here's a random paragraph pulled off of Google Translate. I can sound it out for you (I learned to do that this week!), but I can't translate it.
ตอนนี้ฉันไม่สามารถบอกคุณถึงสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น เพราะผมกำลังนอนหลับอยู่ก่อนที่รถประจำทางได้ซ้ายสถานี ฉันนอนจนประมาณเที่ยงคืนเมื่อรถประจำทางหยุดสำหรับบะหมี่และทำลายห้องน้ำ ฉันสะดุดหยุดรถประจำทางไปห้องน้ำ แต่หลังจากนั้นฉันไม่ได้จริงๆรู้สึกเหมือนกินก๋วยเตี๋ยว ดังนั้นผมจึงได้กลับบนรถบัสและผ่านออกมาอีกครั้งจนเข้าร่วมปลุกผมขึ้นและแจ้งผมว่าเราที่ป้ายของฉัน นั่นคือดีที่สุด ชั่วโมงนอนหลับฉันมีในขณะที่การพิจารณาผมได้ที่นั่งริมทางเดินบนรถบัส แต่หลังจากที่ถูกขึ้นเป็นเวลา ชั่วโมง (ผมไม่ได้นอนหลับสบายบนเครื่องบิน) มันก็ยิ่งใหญ่มาก

Coexisting
Bugs and lizards are everywhere. When I first came I tried to kill them all. But that is extremely messy and hard to do (especially with lizards). I imagine this is what tyrants feel like when they are conducting a genocide among lesser peoples. So after 48 hours I had to convince myself that I was, in fact, the bigger animal, and that if we can all live peacefully together, I won't hurt anything (mosquitoes excluded). But the ants are hard to not get annoyed at. There are thousands of them and they will one day kill me (indirectly, of course). You see, they love my sugary food, and if I'm not careful they will eat all of my food and make me starve to death. Basically, this just means that sugar-everything goes in the fridge. Except my sugar-free gum. They don't eat that! I'm pleasantly surprised. But the ants outside have something going on. I'm constantly impressed by their productiveness. Look at this picture:

No matter how hot it is, they're out there all day going back and forth in these lines. They're so organized! I'm sure the military could use a tip or two from these ants. But I can't gush about them too much. For all I know they're transporting my Corn Flakes piece by piece to their humble abode.
The one way to not drive myself crazy with the bugs is to not turn on any lights at night. Lights at night tend to attract the bugs that did not agree to my terms, so this normally results in my going to bed early.

Running
Because I go to bed early, I wake up early. This is good, because if I'm not done running by 5:45 am, I practically melt onto the pavement. As I mentioned before, it's hot here. And it's humid. Combine the two, and you have a death sentence. It's far more draining than the following foreign countries I've been to: Costa Rica, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, the Bahamas, or the Cayman Islands. Believe it or not, though, the heat is actually helping me have more productive mornings. Because it's impossible to sleep in the heat. It probably doesn't matter if I go to bed at 1 am, the heat will still get to me around 4:30. So, I go running and then jump in the pool. Problem solved.

Food
The funny (not) thing about Thailand is that I have to prepare my own food. I hate cooking my own food. I have a rule: it must come out of a box or package and be able to be ready in less than 10 minutes. If this can't happen, I'm not cooking. End of story. Luckily, Thais have the same idea. They just opened up a grocery store here a few months ago, and it is dedicated to packaged food such as ramen noodles and hot dogs. Once again, problem solved.
However, I did have one instance where I had to cook myself food. Jeri gave me a chicken breast when I got here, and I couldn't just chuck it in the trash. So I cooked it! In the microwave. I felt so proud of myself. It didn't taste good, and I have no intentions of perfecting my recipe of chicken and salt. But I did it. I cooked meat. Here is what I normally survive on:

Taro Ice Cream. It's made from a taro root, and is absolutely delicious on a hot day.

Rambutans. This cute little hairy fruit is a pain to peel and eat, but its goodness outweighs the  work.

Ramen noodle-like rice on the left (just add hot water), and duck flavored  Ramen on the right!

Dogs
I hate dogs. I really do. I've been attacked a few times while running, so I normally try to keep my distance. The problem is that everyone in Thailand owns a dog. But here's the good news: dog owners in Thailand aren't as nice to their dogs as the dog owners in America. The dogs here are pretty scared of everything because they're beaten. And whenever they start trouble amongst their owners, the owners eat them. Problem solved. So, running with a rock in my hand and growling at the dogs is more than enough to scare them away back to their owners.... who then scare them away to the woods. Once again, I have learned that I am the bigger animal :)

Me!
I have learned that I am exclusive in Thailand. Seriously. Just as Americans are captivated by the French way of life, so are the Thais with the American way. They want white skin (made available by lotions and body washes), brown and blonde hair (hair dye), and most of all, they want to speak English (made possible by me!). The villagers are fascinated by white people. Not just any white people, though. You have to be young, have some style sense, and have light skin. You also have to speak English. I can't say how many times I've walked into the market and been touched by strangers, asked out by middle school boys, or been invited to people's homes. And I've only been here 10 days. Now I know how Lady Gaga feels. Some people are shy and try to discretely follow you. But the majority of people see you, call out to you, and come running, even if they have no idea who you are. I have learned that I'm white, and that's all that matters. Realistically I could have the entire village wrapped around my finger in a week. But I'm nice and I can't in good conscience take advantage of nice people. So I won't. I'll just teach English at my schools.

Okay. Well, I guess that's it. Not too much is going on this week because, like I said, I'm the only one here. But I know that after my first day of teaching I will have tons of stories! Until then I'll just sit here, sweating my brains out and studying Thai.